Infirm
by Define Me
Summary: Tenma and Astro sort out their feelings. Continuation of "It'll Hurt, but That's Okay". Angst! Father/son bonding! Slave AU
1. Chapter 1

**Yeesh, it's been a while since I've written anything! I've really been aching to get back to this...series? Succession? I don't actually know what to call it since I'm just putting out random excerpts- BUT I'm back if anyone cares. I wanted to do a small continuation of my last piece "It'll Hurt, but That's Okay", though I'm not sure how small it'll actually be since it's mainly inner monologue. Also, instead of writing on my tablet, I'm working with an actual keyboard, so please excuse any punctuation or spelling errors as my fingers are still figuring out the new flow. Thank you!**

* * *

 **~Infirm~**

 _There was murmuring around them._

 _Talking._

 _Laughing.  
_

 _It was all too loud._

 _Blinding light shone down from above; so warm it was almost searing his skin away. Pets and children played in synthetic grass. Or was it real? He couldn't remember..._

 _Where was he? Where had they taken him? None of it seemed dangerous, but he couldn't be sure...What if-_

 _"Well? What do you think?"_

 _The question was met with silence and he couldn't help but glance at the shorter of the two. Wasn't he going to answer?_

 _"Astro?"_

 _He jolted. The name still felt somewhat foreign to him...it was all sharp syllables and it sparked a fire on his tongue when he repeated it. It was almost painful._

 _They were still looking at him, expectant, and for a moment he felt a familiar fear sweep through his limbs before he realized...he'd been asked a question. A question about his opinion. He scolded himself for these irrational feelings; he knew these people! They regarded him just the same as anyone else! They had come here for him..._ _After being cooped up in the penthouse for the last couple of weeks, he jumped at the opportunity to go outside, even if he wasn't entirely confident in his own tolerance. Now that he was here, he felt...content._

 _Free._

 _Safe..._

 _Nervous..._

 _Insecure..._

 _Afraid._

 _He knew these people. He also knew that his word meant nothing compared to theirs._

 _He took one last look around, giving himself the chance to actually take in what he was seeing. They were encased in a thick glass dome- geodesic, if he wasn't mistaken. The air was warm around them...so perfect he wondered if it was conditioned or if they were all simply unused to a purely organic environment. Well...maybe not so pure. The pathway under their feet wound elegantly through the complex. It had been the first thing to catch his eye and now upon closer inspection, what he had first thought to be tile was, in fact, sliced wood and glass. While he disagreed with cutting down perfectly good trees for something like decor(it was almost insulting, really), he was in awe of the appeal it still possessed. The dark borders and multicolored rings contrasted sharply against the tumbled glass. The various teals and blues made it akin to water in his mind, though maybe that's what they were going for._

 _While his logical thinking mocked him, he desperately hoped the lush vegetation around them was actually alive. Unpolluted soil was hard to come by, viable seeds even more so._

 _He whirled back around to look at them, ready to answer his question -had they always been standing that far away?- and felt his face contort at the mouth. Was he smiling? They weren't reacting...was he sending the right message? His vision began to distort -had all of these people been here before?- and he could just barely make out the frowns adorning their faces. What was going on? Why weren't they happy anymore? Wasn't he-_

 _He took a step back. Felt the air on his skin as people walked passed; heard their voices and shook with their footfalls. Where were-?_

 _Something hit his shoulder._

 _And suddenly they were quiet._

* * *

He didn't know how long he'd been stuck in here...but he was beginning to lose his patience. The fear that had brought him here was replaced with anxiety and now restlessness. He supposed he'd always been fidgety, having self sustaining energy literally coursing through your body did that to you. He needed to move, but he liked the darkness...

He stretched as far as he could before settling back into the corner. God, it was so quiet...though, did it really even count if you could hear everything? That blasted ticking...he'd always been able to make out the faint sound of the blinking lights in his bedside alarm, but now it was closer to pounding. The thought of chucking it out the window almost had him out of his closet. Almost.

They were talking downstairs. He didn't dare try to figure out what they were saying; the anger and desperation that poured from the murmurs were enough.

He felt shame bubble in his stomach for what was probably the hundredth time that day. His mind refused to let go of the terrified faces, the yelling, of everything he saw so clearly, but somehow didn't exist. He had done this...They were having such a good time, he had been so close! Or was that progression in his head? Why did it seem like he was only taking steps backward? All of his attempts to face his new fears bore no fruit and the only one who could understand him was sitting in a closet losing his mind! His body ached as he tensed up; he could still feel the prongs stuck under his skin, hear their shouted warnings and, in turn, his father pleading for his life. He shut his eyes against the thought that, maybe, they'd been a little too prepared to kill him.

No doubt his father was angry with him...even Elefun had seemed disappointed with him and as terrible as it was...somehow it hurt more. They were probably beginning to realize how futile all of this was. It wouldn't be long before he was back on that table or worse...back on The Surface.

 _They wouldn't do that._

 _Or would they?_

 _I don't know..._

 _You're safe. They wouldn't hurt you._

 _But I'm not **SURE**!_

Pain suddenly registered in his mind and he tore his hand away from his face. He shifted his vision until he was able to make out small ridges running along his knuckle. Had he...bitten himself? No...that couldn't be right, he-he would have noticed!

Why didn't he notice?

Water gathered in his eyes, and he clutched his arm before pulling it closer to his chest. His fingers brushed along the branded 'R' on his wrist. Danced on the uneven borders of burnt silicone and the reminder of his status in society. A novelty. Something to be owned and used and ogled. He supposed he should be grateful, as the pain would probably be greater if he had real skin...but he just couldn't. Its purpose was too sharp to feel anything but shame for...no matter what he accomplished, he would never be equal.

This wasn't fair...he'd tried so hard. He did so much...and now he couldn't do anything. He wanted his old life back, however young it was. He wanted his friends, he wanted out of the responsibility he never even asked for! He wanted Orrin...

In the end, it was the misery that drew him out of his closet. It was dark outside and even darker in the room. He let out a humorless chuckle and figured he must look a sight; a filthy, trembling mess with tears flowing shamelessly down his face and into the crude wrapping that hid the hole in his throat. He knew his pride would take a hard blow, but it was worth it if it meant he wouldn't spend the rest of the night alone.

As he reached for the touch pad, the door abruptly slid open in front of him. Warm light poured in the from the hallway as did a tall, looming shadow.

 **And there we are! I won't lie, I started this back in** **February and I've been making adjustment after adjustment on it** **. I was going to make this just a big oneshot, but I figured it might be more organized as a two-parter. I did my best to try and describe the course of anxiety and panic attacks through my own experiences, so hopefully it worked out. Please feel free to leave a review! I'll work on getting the next chapter out as soon as possible!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello again, fellow writers/readers! It's been a while since chapter 1, I had a bit of writers block. HOWEVER, I've recently gone through a break-up, so I have all of my angsty emotions to channel into this segment! All** **aboard** **the hype train, let's roll!**

 **Chapter 2**

Tenma prayed that he looked more confident than he felt. He'd spent the last few hours working up the courage to face his son, only half listening when Elefun had announced his departure and instruction to call him if they needed him. Maybe he should...

It was no secret to him that Astro preferred his colleague's company to his own. As uncomfortable as it left him, he reminded himself that it wasn't completely undeserved. It also took him back to the short time between Astro's creation and his abduction where his son had begun warming back up to him...of course, all of that progress was out the window now and he wondered how many more times they would have to start over. His mind was momentarily taken back to the night he and his son were reunited...The dark room, the faceless silhouettes, how close he'd come to losing him to someone else.

He raised his hand toward the touch pad on the wall, teetering slightly on his heels. It was just a talk...he could totally do this. After one final sway backwards, he used the momentum to reach for the touch pad with purpose and the door slid open with a smothered hiss.

Suddenly the nerve was gone.

The sight that stood before him was...pitiful, to say the least. Astro clearly hadn't bothered to change out of his old clothes, dirt staining his knees while the cuffs of his sweater were singed from the heat his canons. His posture was rigid and through the dim light he could make out a slight tremble in his hands. Fat tears streamed and dropped onto the carpet while others not quite heavy enough traveled down his neck and into his bandages. Despite himself, he suppressed a scoff; supportive as he could be, Tenma didn't see the use in wasting medical supplies. The wounds weren't going to heal, so what was the point? He found that his doubt had only earned him a scolding about his sensitivity, but he couldn't help it, he wasn't good with psychology and socializing like Elefun was. That man...he just had a way with people. His advice never failed him, which was half the reason he trusted him when he suggested Astro might need a crutch until his voice box could be replaced and the hole could be sealed. So far it have proven to be a wise decision and a good first step in his son's mental recovery.

Peering inside, his hand quickly found the lights. He'd be a liar if he said he hadn't, at least, half expected to see the room in shambles, but it was still as spotless as it had been that morning...aside from the flattened clock on the nightstand.

Looking back at the boy, he took instant notice of the change in his demeanor; the surprise that had adorned his face moments ago had given way to a mix of apprehension and skittishness, and his brown eyes wide and glassy. Tenma knew hostility when he saw it, but it was an odd color on him. He knew he was quietly being assessed; every twitch and breath earned prompt acknowledgement.

He steeled and brought his hands up anyway.

"We should talk."

Despite the gentleness in his father's movements, Astro felt a weight settle over him and the urge to be alone returned. He ran through his very limited number of options, then the possible outcomes and finally, with a bowed head, slipped off to the side to allow the scientist entry. However, the man flipped his palm and gestured for _his_ lead into the room.

It was an odd feeling. During his captivity, he had become accustomed to being led. He wasn't fit, didn't have the privilege of coming before a human. The rights of robots came near to none, both in the city and The Surface, and he wondered why the man was bothering to give him the option at all. He wondered why his treatment was so different, when his status remained the same. He knew it was a silly thought, but he couldn't help but entertain the idea that maybe he was being patronized. Of course, that was before an even worse thought occurred;

 _He doesn't trust you at his back._

Taking his chances, he peered up to find the man already staring at him. Alarm lit up in his chest and he decided that he'd already wasted too much time deliberating, chiding himself as he walked. He was supposed to know better...

He perched himself on the edge of the bed, his shoulder pressed snugly against the wall as he soaked up all the comfort he could in its stability. He was grateful when he noticed his father had taken the spot at the other end, leaving a good arm's length between them. Meanwhile, Tenma could feel his resolve diminishing. He honestly hadn't thought he'd be able to get this far, but now that they were here, the uncertainty was rapidly returning. He could visualize himself in the moment; awkward, out of place, forcing his presence where it clearly wasn't wanted...but, this time, he _needed_ to be here.

He swept his gaze back across his son's face, unsurprised at the look of blatant discomfort he found there. The stillness, downcast eyes, and silence had become the norm in their household and he feared just how much he'd gotten used to it. Feared how much _Astro_ had gotten used to it.

At the beginning, he'd so ignorantly expected things to work themselves out. Sure, his son would need a few repairs, but that was all. He would bounce back just as he had every other time before. A few days of rest and he would be bounding through the house with bright eyes and his seemingly permanent smile plastered onto his face. Then...the days turned into weeks, the damages remained, and the smile never came. His eyes were almost always bright, but now for all the wrong reasons. The way a light bulb shines brightest just before burning out completely. It wasn't long before he realized that there wasn't going to be any bouncing back from this one. Something was different, something had broken and, this time, he couldn't fix it.

He found that the only thing he _could_ do was be present. It had paid off some, but his impatience had gotten the best of him. He had known...he had _known_ the outing was too soon. Whether it be a father's intuition or anxiety, the idea had sat itself heavy in his gut all the way until things had gone wrong. Being right had never hurt him so much.

Suddenly, one of the concerns he'd had resurfaced.

"How's your back?"

Astro didn't bother reaching up to touch the punctures; they were too far. Instead, he gave a quick sign.

 _"Okay."_

Tenma hummed, "Good. I'm sure Elefun will be pleased to hear that, Lord knows he'll call at least once before the night is up!"

He forced a chuckle, hoping dearly that it might serve to lessen the tension. It proved to be fruitless as Astro simply gazed at him from the corner of his eyes, the rest of his face unchanged.

Sighing, he said, "He's worried about you, you know."

 _We both are._

Astro continued to let his gaze play on the carpet, though his expression became more pinched and he suddenly forced his hands up.

" _What happened?"_

Tenma was caught off guard by the speed behind the gestures, almost certain that he'd misinterpreted the signs. Yet in a rare instance, the android had come to meet his eyes and the sheer rawness of the emotions swimming in his gaze supported his inquiry.

He looked away, "I was actually...hoping you could tell me."

It was an odd question...and what seemed to be genuine confusion behind it left the scientist uneasy. It had clearly been some sort of hallucination, but before today he hadn't even known robots _could_ hallucinate. Unless...it was strictly exclusive to Astro. He was so advanced...he'd done everything he could to make his creation as human as scientifically possible. All things aside, he honestly never thought that he'd have to deal with his son knowing he was a robot. That was the entire point, despite the unfairness in it all. Now that he did, however, he realized he'd opened up a new set of issues for them both. He couldn't help but think that perhaps he had done too much in his venture to replicate someone long dead...that he'd done _too_ well. Now, he was in over his head and he had nowhere to go.

And in a growing streak, he had to face that he, once again, did not have an answer to give his son.

Astro couldn't help the shred of frustration his father's response left him with. What had happened? He'd messed up, wasn't that obvious? He'd made himself into some kind of menace! He could practically see the media backlash headed their way; headlines, videos, an extra article or two about why robots should be kept on an even tighter leash with _his_ example lighting the way! Humans were all the sa-

He stopped.

He tensed.

But the hand resting against his back remained.

A flurry of emotions hit him and he searched, _waited_ for the pain. There was always pain. Everything that had come into contact with him during his captivity had been there to cause harm. Touch was the first thing to go after his rescue, he'd made sure of that. He sat straight, his mind silently succumbing to the overwhelming mixture of blind panic and desperate reassurance. It wasn't the first time he'd felt this way, but he'd never dared to place himself in a situation where he could be caught in it...in times like this, he wished he could just pass out from the stress like a normal person. He blinked and was startled to find his eyes already filled with tears.

Tenma was a fool if he thought he'd felt out of place before. He'd acted on instinct when Astro had begun showing signs of agitation...He sat a little lower, dropped his head a little further as his fingers threatened to tear into his own skin. The last straw was when a dark look had crossed over his features and he, all at once, decided that he preferred anything else.

That was, until the tears came.

One blink and the mass collection of moisture fell away into the boy's lap. Almost as quickly, the man recoiled back into his own personal space. Maybe he should have called Elefun back...he wouldn't have made any of these mistakes, certainly! Or Orrin...Astro had taken to their butler like a moth to flame, no doubt due to their odd kinship. Once upon a time, he would come home at night to find them huddled around books, regaling stories, or conducting whatever odd experiment had caught interest. Now that comfort was gone too. Having taken him for granted for many years, he felt guilty at what had ultimately become of him. Astro hadn't shared the prospect of ownership over him as Toby had, but the elder android had nonetheless defended his safety all the way up to the bullet that had ended his efforts.

He couldn't help but think that perhaps the presence of another robot might work to benefit his son. Even so, he knew Astro wouldn't take a replacement well. He'd promised to, at least, try to fix Orrin. He didn't have the heart to tell him that he already had. That he just wasn't the same. The damages, from a mechanical standpoint, had been minor...but had also taken something that couldn't simply be programmed back in. He feared that knowledge ever getting back to Astro. He was afraid of him completely teetering off the edge, of what he might have to do if he ever did turn against them, even in a fit of anguish-!

 _Calm down._

 _That won't happen._

"That won't-"

He didn't get to finish before something hit his chest, nearly sending him off the bed entirely. He felt pressure tightening around his middle and his throat constricted as he flicked his gaze. The spot Astro had occupied was now empty. The boy had all but thrown himself into his arms, latching on for all he was worth in a surprising burst of energy. He still cried and Tenma decided that a wet shirt was the last of his cares as he shifted them; pulling the android's legs over his own and crushing him in a fierce hug. He stroked through the hair on the back of his head, hoping to alleviate _any_ of his shaking. Astro had never initiated touch from him before and he sincerely hoped this wasn't the last instance. He was so devastatingly starved of _good_ touch, much more than anyone should be. Toby had been as well...so aching for his father's attention- for his _affection_. He wasn't going to mess it up this time...

He didn't know how long they stayed sat there, just being there for one another. Astro had been the first to withdraw, looking at him fully with a glazed and tired expression, but also...a fiery determination behind it. The scientist watched as his creation reached up and let his fingers graze the binding at his throat. It took him a stupid moment longer to realize what he wanted.

"Are you sure?"

His eyes drop, then return.

A nod.

* * *

 **Oh my GOD! So long! Both the hiatus and the chapter, haha. BUT! Here is the last chapter to Infirm. I would love it if you guys would tell me your thoughts, I also dropped a couple of hints as to how our poor family got to this point, so I would love to hear any speculations on that as well. I do apologize for the long wait, again, but just know that I stayed up extra long in order to finish it up for you guys tonight because I adore you all and your support so much! Thanks for reading!**


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